Piddling

Some of my happiest times are when I'm piddling. The way it works for me is that as I move through my day, if something gets my attention, I attend to it right away. 

During my last piddling period, I sat to pet the dogs as long as they wanted to be petted. I clipped the loose threads on the table runner I bought recently on our trip to San Miguel de Allende. I put out the pumpkin plate for display.

If I force myself to keep to the schedule I've made and disallow piddling, my thoughts of what's undone begin to mount in my brain, and I eventually become anxious or stressed. It's so much better if I do those small tasks as I recognize them. 

I don't believe this phenomenon is unique to me. I've noticed that my daughter's voice on the hone is happiest when she has a day to meander, walk, stop in her favorite shops, sit in the chair with a cat in her lap, or in her beautiful back yard with a coffee.

Piddling clears my heart and mind.

You write it:  What clears your heart and mind? When was the last time you did it?

The Gift of Authenticity

"Let the inner man and the outer man be one" is how Socrates said it. Today we call it authenticity. Being real. Living to the highest within us. Being true to our best selves.

Recently I received the gift of authenticity from Denise, whom I had just met. She had offered her home in San Miguel de Allende to guests for a mutual friend's wedding. Happily, my husband and I were invited to be one of only a few people to stay in this beautiful home in the old city, only a few blocks and easy walk from the hotel where the wedding occurred.

In this home, peace prevailed. It wasn't just the layout or the decor or the lush plants in the courtyard with fountain. It was the authenticity of the owner. 

Denise realized during the wedding festivities that she wasn't feeling well, so she left early to go to bed, where she stayed for the next few days. The last night we were there, she felt well enough to join us for dinner. We had invited her to a restaurant (our treat), but she didn't feel that going out would be good for her, so we found some leftover quiche that we had bought a couple of days before in the market. To that, we added some greens and peppers and tomatoes that she had in the refrigerator. For dessert, we sliced some fresh peaches and grapes that we had just bought on the street, combining them with apples we found in the refrigerator for a dessert fruit salad. We enjoyed conversation over this simple, uncomplicated, elegant meal.

The entire time we were there, we felt free to do what was right for us, with no obligations or expectations, no pretense or orchestration. Peace is the simple gift of authenticity.

You write it:  When have you received the gift of authenticity? When have you given it?

A Good Day

Recent rains have plunged the temperature into jacket weather. The leaves of the cottonwood are beginning to turn yellow, like their cousin the aspen. The crisp coolness and clear, bright air give new life to my spirit.

I had already put my beautiful glass pumpkins on the table in the entry to our home and adorned the dining table with an autumn arrangement--reminders that the seasons are shifting.

Then I bought the red clay pumpkin whose goofy grin greets me every morning from his perch on the patio, visible from my bed.

How could I not have a good day?

You write it:  What gives you a good day?

The Trail of Life

Where I live in Sedona are many hiking trails. They ascend, descend, and fork. They vary in difficulty. They wind around forests, streams, and rocks. They change with the seasons and weather and time of day. Big rocks sometimes move unexpectedly into the paths, as well as branches. Rains shift the terrain. Even experienced hikers sometimes get lost or stranded.

So it is with life. Sometimes even the guides among us--the ministers, intuitives, leaders--lose their way and need help.

On this trail of life, my goal is to live in serenity. I've gotten myself in shape for attaining peace of mind. I've followed a map that includes daily journaling to get troublesome thoughts out of my mind and onto paper so I can be rid of them. Each morning I meditate and set an intention for the day. Throughout my day, I am aware of what I'm thinking and feeling so that I make constant adjustments, keeping myself on the path and not wandering. To end the day, I express gratitude.

Sometimes my life's trail takes a turn I didn't expect or want. Sometimes a big boulder blocks my path. Sometimes I need help. That's when I make a phone call to a trusted advisor, listen carefully to the calmness in her voice, take a deep breath, and resume my journey.

You write it:  Right now, what is your life's trail like? Describe it. What will you do?

Compassion in Controversy

I've made a new friend whose life spins around controversy. It seems that each time we meet, her family is in crisis--or her church--or something in the news has triggered her outrage.

I've tried several different responses. I've listened and shared a personal story. Once in a text exchange, I simply wrote, "I have no opinion." She responded, "Seriously???!!!" She couldn't imagine it.

Most recently, I calmly explained where I stand on a particular issue without casting stones at anyone. I stood for my belief but not against anyone. So far, that approach has worked best.

What I'm searching for is compassion for someone who seems to thrive on dissension. Honestly, I don't like controversy. I ask myself, "How important is it?" In most cases, the answer is, "Not important at all," and I let it go.

But this friend is challenging me to this opportunity to learn compassion for those who seek controversy.

You write it:  What is your relationship with controversy?

Minding My Own Business

For whatever reason, I've felt that if I told people what they're doing wrong and point out how they should change, they would appreciate my wise words, thank me, and make the suggested adjustment.

I hope you're laughing right now at how preposterous and arrogant my thinking was.

My metamorphosis came in stages. First, I had to learn not to tell people what to do or how to behave. Then I had to accept the fact that my way isn't the only way. Recently my thought patterns have shifted so that I no longer even believe I know what's best for others.

In other words, I had to behave my way into believing. The result is the delicious freedom that comes from minding my own business.

You write it:  What pattern would you like to change? Where will you begin?

Be True

Once I wrapped a finger-shaped crystal with bubble wrap, and then I stuck small fish hooks all over the outside of the bubble wrap. I did this to illustrate that in the heart of us is purity, where Light lives. But that Light gets blocked by what we wrap around and allow to hook us. These "hooks" make us behave in ways that mask the truth of who we are.

Do you know what your hooks are? Whatever pulls you out of being the person you truly are--the one you want to--be the one that makes you happiest--is a hook.

Sometimes being true to myself is uncomfortable. It makes me face unpleasantness, be honest, and take action. It might make others uncomfortable. Sometimes it means I won't be doing what everyone else is doing. But oh, the exhilaration that follows as I realize I've been true to myself!

Maybe, just for today, you could slip out of the bubble wrap and simply be true to yourself.

You write it:  What will you do today that is true to yourself?

Rewrite the Script

When we are young, we learn patterns of thinking and feeling that, unless we intervene, can direct the rest of our lives.

One of my old scripts was that I didn't get the emotional support and encouragement I needed from my mother, so it was difficult for me to trust women and I had few female friends.

Then one day I wrote about all the women who had helped and encouraged me along the way:  a neighbor, a teacher, a church leader, a boss, a colleague. I was getting what I needed all along. Then I began to appreciate all that my mother had actually done for me.

Thus, I rewrote my script. Today I have many female friends, and I've learned to trust women. I've also learned to meet my own emotional needs. Friends simply enrich my life.

You write it:  What old script would you like to rewrite? Where will you begin?

Love Encompasses All

Recently I've written about people I know who forgave betrayal and reclaimed their marriage, taking love to a new level.

Love encompasses all.

I have such a strong tendency to decide who's right, who's wrong, what's good and not. Thus I separate and segregate the ingredients that make up life.

But the truth is, God loves the soup.

So just for today, I ask my judgmental voice to relax and allow me to savor the flavor of this imperfect, exquisite life. 

All of it.

The Power of Love

She was beautiful and accomplished; he was handsome, funny, and successful. Together, they had a beautiful family.

Imagine her shock when he told her he was in love with another woman and wanted a divorce. She felt, in her words, as if "someone had shaken the jar that was my life and then placed it upside down."

Pushing beyond her anger, disappointment, self righteousness, and hurt, she decided, "I love our family, and I want to keep my marriage."

That decision began a process of healing for both of them. It took time, but today, although their lives aren't perfect, together they have a beautiful family and enjoy their lives.

omeday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, mankind will harness for God the energy of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire.  Teilhard de Chardin   

You write it:  What in your life needs love? What do you need to push beyond? What are you willing to do?

What Do You Do?

My question to her was, "How did you forgive him?" She had just told me the story of her husband's affair with one of her good friends.

A devout Catholic, she answered, "I went into the chapel, heartbroken. I asked God to remove my hurt and resentment and make it possible for me to forgive them." When at long last she arose and walked out of the church, she was free.

She is still married to her husband and maintains a friendship with the unfaithful friend.

As I think of the emotional storm my friend and her marriage survived, I am reminded of another story about Judge Harold Medina, who presided over the communist trials during the McCarthy era. One day the courtroom erupted and several angry defendants charged the bench.

"In all that excitement, I felt just as calm as I do now when I speak to you; I did not raise my voice over the tone which you hear me use now. . . . I tell you . . . that my unguided will alone and such self-control as I possess were unequal to this test. If ever a man felt the presence of Someone beside him, strengthening his will and giving him aid and comfort, it was I on that day."

These two stories I've just related are remarkably different. Or are they?

You write it:  When something in your life erupts and threatens what you hold dear, what do you do?

Transition

Today our first granddaughter left for college. How can that be?

I saw her take her first breath--heard her first cry--watched her through the joys and pains of childhood and confusion of adolescence. 

Today she opens a door to a bigger world of possibility. 

Grant her confidence, peace, assurance, and success in a happy college life.

You write it:  What is your prayer today for someone you love who is in transition?

Facing Challenges

Recently I met a woman who lost her husband many years ago to an unusual accident when he was in his 50's. At the time, she had breast cancer.

Over the next few years, she trekked the Himalayas (something she and her husband had talked about doing), drove in a camper through the western United States, and ended up in Sedona, where she thought she would die soon.

Every day she hiked around Bell Rock. Instead of dying, she lived. Then she opened a medical practice for the second time in her life and practiced medicine for another fifteen years until she decided to retire. 

Now in her late 70's, what is noticeable about this woman today is her smile. Today when I saw her, she was undeniably radiant.

You write it:  What challenges are facing you? What will you do?

Whisper Time

This is a whisper time of my life. The shouted demands of young family and career are silent. The inner, urgent voice for more, faster, sooner is still.

The whisper that is rising is exquisite:  Appreciation for pasta sauce that I made myself--for sunset and sunrise--for simply spending time with someone I love--for the peace of an overcast day.

You write it:  How would you describe this time of your life?

New Standards

In the past, I've measured my success by what and how much I got done.  Recently I've chosen new standards. At the end of the day, I ask myself:

• Did I reach out to call or visit with a friend? Or make a new one?
• Was I respectful of myself and others, even those with whom I disagree?
• Did I treat myself well with diet, rest, exercise, and spiritual practice?
• Did I challenge my mind through reading or other new learning?
• Was I kind, calm, and loving?
• Did I do something just for fun?
• Did I set good boundaries, focusing on what is my business and letting everything else go?

You write it: At the end of the day, how do you measure your success?

Let It Be

Lyrics from a Beatles' song have been floating through my head:  Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. There will be an answer. Let it be.

So much of my life has been devoted to trying to fix things that weren't the way I thought they should be. This innate, strong tendency makes me look around for something to improve. Isn't that, after all, how progress gets made?

Yet I've learned that when I exert force, resistance is the inevitable result. I may prevail, but only after much exertion and maybe even exhaustion.

This principle is especially true in relationships. Let it be. Give people the freedom and respect to learn what they need to learn when they need to learn it.

Let it be.

You write it:  What do you need to let be?

Rhythm

I knew the rhythm of my life in Austin so well. Easily, I floated In the familiar circles and cycles. When my husband and I decided to move to Sedona, that rhythm changed, The mere decision shifted everything as the well-known patterns dissipated.

My calendar was blank. I had no cleaners or grocery store or hair stylist or dentist or doctor. I didn't know anyone. There was just me, flowing into the unexperienced, 

Flowing has a rhythm all its own, Quiet silence. White space. 

It's my new rhythm.

You write it:  What is your rhythm?

One Day at a Time

As I sit on my patio in the cool of the morning, gazing with my heart at the magnificence of Bell Rock and Courthouse Butte, I wonder, "Oh, God, how did I get here?"

This morning a quiet voice answered, "One day at a time."

I realize everything I treasure has come to me one day at a time:  peace of mind, a happy marriage, treasured friendships and family relationships, health and well being.

The thrill of those "big" goals I grasped for--career, projects, purchases--is gone.

What remains is silent majesty. Quiet presence. One day at a time.

You write it:  What treasures have come to you one day at a time?

Waft

Last January, Sedona guide Pete Sanders taught me a way to meditate that yields my word for the day. A few days ago, the word that came up was unusual--waft.

"Waft" is not a word I use, so I looked it up. It means "carried on the breeze, as a scent." That definition brought to mind a childhood memory of honeysuckle growing on my grandmother's fence, its sweet fragrance wafting through the air, lifting my spirits and awakening my senses.

You write it:  What lifts your spirits and awakens your senses?

Emergence

My father was a meticulous gardener, and he trained me to keep a weed-free landscape with splashes of color, well-trimmed plants, and perfectly mowed lawn.

The yard of our new home might be described as desert-rough. Mesquite, yucca, and other native plants some might call weeds prevail. In fact, our gardener tells me that the name for one of them is "snake weed."

Our plan was to live here awhile and get a feel for what we want before making major changes. In the process, we've discovered that this yard is a haven for birds, bunnies, and other wildlife. It's delightful--better than watching television. Whatever we do, we want to preserve that.

So we walk in the yard every day, continuing to get a feel for its possibilities, learning to love what is while we imagine what's even better.

You write it:  What's emerging in your life? How patient are you with the process?