Wondering

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My parents provided a safe home for me, where I was encouraged to be strong and independent. So when I hear stories about the Epstein survivors, I wonder why those girls didn’t just walk away from the abuse.

Then I learned that many victims of sex trafficking come from foster homes. I asked my friend Ash Almonte, whose charity Hopefully Sow benefits foster children, why that is.

Ash explained that because they have been abused and neglected, these girls crave attention and cannot distinguish appropriate from inappropriate.

Now I’m wondering, aside from contributing to Hopefully Sow, what I can do to help.

What are you wondering about?

Love and Compassion

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In these times, it has gradually become clear to me that I must emit more love and compassion. Why? Because it is a stronger, more attractive energy. “The greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:13)

My actions can be small: welcome a new neighbor, visit a recovering friend, send a note to someone whose actions I admire, leave a large tip, spread good words about businesses I like. Whatever it is, a small action performed in love can change the world. Will you join me?

Perspective

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I’m in the midst of a change that will make my life more enjoyable, shifting from harshly judging the worthiness of my activities to accepting, even savoring, solitude for the gift it is.

As I’m making this shift, I’m noticing who in my life gives me energy and who takes it away. I’m accepting that some people are energy depleters, and it’s okay to avoid them. I want to be in the presence of loving kindness, and that includes my own state of mind towards myself and others.

You write it: How do you manage your energy and that of others?

Idleness

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Somewhere along the way, I got the notion that being idle was bad—that if I was idle, I was useless. Maybe it came from my agrarian roots, my parents having been raised on farms and ranches where there was always something to do. My first career was teaching, with endless papers to grade and lessons to prepare, while raising two children.

I don’t live on a farm or ranch. I hire people to do what is needed for my home and yard. I no longer work to earn a living. My children are grown and thriving. So, sometimes, there’s nothing to do but relax, read a book, take a walk, or just sit and watch the scenery. Then the guilt nudges me.

The pull to action is still strong, long after the need for it has gone.

You write it: Is there a pattern from your past that is no longer useful?

Conversations

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These days I’m very aware of what gives me energy and what takes it away. Truthful, from-the-heart conversation is an energizer. So I am in the process of forming conversation groups using my newest book, Live the Life You Truly Want, as the catalyst.

The conversation begins with a process for moving us out of our heads and into our hearts. Then we read only one entry from the book, followed by a second round of sharing, formulating an intention, and meditating on the intention. We close with insights gleaned from the process.

The ideal size for these groups is 3-4 people, and the process takes an hour. Groups can be in person or via Zoom. If you’re interested in participating in a Zoom group, email me: NancyOelklaus@gmail.com.

Light

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Last week I saw an independently produced movie about the spiritual awakening of Bill W., founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. His experience was quite dramatic—a bright, white light whose impact lasted for the rest of his life. The message of the film caused me to reflect on my own spiritual experience.

For me, there wasn’t a bright, white light. But there were three experiences in which I knew I was hearing the voice of God. The first, I ignored. But I never ignored it again. After three unmistakable, life-altering experiences, The Voice became a quiet experience that I seek, I’m aware of, and I follow its lead. It’s as if God said, “OK. I have her attention now. I don’t have to be so dramatic.”

Today is the first day of Hanukkah, which celebrates the triumph of light over darkness. Whether by light or by unmistakable urge, how does God show up for you?

Gifts

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Will it get here in time? Will it fit? Will it be nice enough? Will it be the right color? Will s/he like it? 2025 is the year my family acknowledged that none of us needs anything. We agreed to take the stress of gift-giving out of the season and simply give what we would spend on a gift to the recipient’s charity of choice.

MY greatest gift is that each of my children could say, without hesitation, what their favorite charity is. They know how to give.

You write it: What is a great Christmas gift you have received?

State of Mind

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As I was leaving after visiting my mother, every time she would cry—and I would feel bad. I made myself a promise that I would not do that to my children.

This morning my brother left after a short visit. For a moment I felt sad, but I remembered my promise and made a decision to stay in gratitude that he came, that my home provided rest and relaxation, that I was able to do for him simple things that said, “I love you.”

It’s good to remember that we have control over our own state of mind. We can choose gratitude over grief.

You write it: What do you do when you are sad?

Becoming

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Renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman, crippled by polio, made his laborious way across the stage and took his seat to begin the concert. As he drew the bow, one of the strings loudly popped, broken and unplayable. He redrew the bow and simply played a brilliant concert.

Asked later why he did not replace the violin, he answered, “Sometimes it is the job of the artist to play with whatever he has left.”

Spiritual coach and author Sarah Naylor has just released her new book, You’re Not Done Becoming.” I recommend it. https://amazon.com/dp/B0FRYCN4VQ

My Vision

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My vision for Live the Life You Truly Want is that people will form small groups of 2-5 people (can be husband and wife) to follow this simple process to make conversation more meaningful:

  1. Together, do the heart meditation (5 minutes). http://nancyoelklaus.com/audio-tools

  2. Open Live the Life You Truly Want to any page and read.

  3. Share, one at a time, uninterrupted, “What’s going on with me today?”

  4. Write one intention that lifts each person into a peaceful way of being. Example: “We enjoy the freedom and peace of letting go.”

  5. Ask, “Are we complete?” Go in peace.

Depending on the size of the group, this whole process takes 30-60 minutes.

I will be doing some Zoom calls in which I facilitate groups. If you’re interested, email me at NancyOelklaus@gmail.com. Go in peace.

Peace

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I had some wonderful visitors yesterday—cousins from a previous life. Actually, they are my former husband’s cousins who were always my favorites because they led interesting lives and seemed so very happy. Being in their presence yesterday took me back to that previous life and reminded me that I am at peace with all of it. https://tinyurl.com/4npf8p7t

You write it: Are you at peace with your past? If not, what might bring peace?