Forgiving Myself

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A few days ago, I tangled with the laws of nature and lost. A young mourning dove hit my glass door and fell back onto the terrace—not the first time this has happened.

I know the routine: leave the bird alone. It might recover and fly away. Usually, it does.

But this time, I didn’t look. I assumed that what I heard was a golf ball and, without looking, I opened the sliding glass door. My dog Colt, following his instincts, ran to the bird and instantly had his teeth around the bird’s neck. Horrified, I wrested the bird free, picked up Colt, pulled the feathers from his mouth, and got him back into the house. Ever since, I’ve been grieving that bird, blaming myself for not looking before opening the door.

If someone else had done this, I would instantly have had compassion, but I struggled to forgive myself.

The next morning I went into my long meditation, which is two times around my rosary beads, breathing in “Thy will” and breathing out “be done.” When I was near the end of the beads, a great peace came over me. My ordeal is over.

Your turn: What’s your experience with self forgiveness?

Beyond Understanding

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A few days ago I was cooking and listening to Apple music through my Sonos speaker. Suddenly I was hearing children’s voices. When I looked at my phone to see what was playing, I saw the words, “1976. Brett and Anne Marie.” It was playing a recording I had made of my children in 1976! In that year, I had no Apple Music. No cell phone. No computer. How did this recording find its way to my Apple Music in 2026? Some things are beyond my understanding, so I decide to be content with wonder. What’s beyond your understanding?

Do Someone a Good Turn

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I practice the Al-Anon program. It isn’t a course I’ll ever complete—like exercise, or healthy eating. One of the Al-Anon suggestions is to “do someone a good turn and not get found out.” It’s a simple way of saying what Matthew 6:4 urges: “Let your kindness be done quietly. . . .” So I’m sitting with the question of how I might accomplish this challenge—at least once a week. Any suggestions?

Powerless

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Someone recently asked me to guide her through the 12 steps, which I am very happy to do. Working the 12 steps is not a “one and done” exercise, and it benefits me, as well as the person who asked.

The first step is, “We admitted we were powerless over (fill in the blank), and our lives had become unmanageable.”

My assignment for us is to make a list of what we’re powerless over. Not a “one and done” list, but one we keep adding to, over a few days. Trying to exercise power over what we’re powerless over is a recipe for exhaustion and despair.

What are you powerless over? When will you be ready to let it go?

From Resentment to Gratitude

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One of my favorite sayings is, “What I focus on, gets stronger.”

For awhile I’ve been fuming over the disappointing performance of my yard service. So I fired them and then had no one to do the work. Yesterday, all by myself , I did the two tasks that most irritated me. Then, because I was in my yard, not looking from a window, I was able to see a solution to two more issues.

So I moved out of resentment into gratitude that I am still physically able to do a bit of yard work myself and imagine improvements.

Is my experience familiar to you?

Breathe

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Someone recently asked me how I stay so calm. My answer was, “I breathe.” I start most days with meditation, using a rosary that I watched being made by a Cajun woman in Louisiana. It’s made of hard, round seeds instead of beads. As my fingers move from seed to seed, I breathe in, “Yah.” I breathe out, “Weh.” Yahweh. The ancient name for God.

I go around twice. Then I’m fit to enjoy my day. How do you start your day?

Trust Yourself

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Last month’s travel was challenging for my body. But after several days’ rest, I felt strong. So I bought new hiking shoes and yesterday hiked a portion of my favorite Sedona Trail. It was the right level of challenge. Now I’ll slowly increase the distance as the fear dissipates. It was about this time two years ago that I broke my hip and began the long journey of recovery. It’s been slower than I wanted, but it’s been steady. I think it’s important, in recovery, to go at my own pace while pushing a bit to do what I truly want. What do you think?

June at Cannon Beach

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I’m spending June at Cannon Beach, Oregon, with my family, having a precious experience. As you know, I write an intention almost every day. Here’s what I wrote this morning: “I love.”

Notice there is no object for my love.

People are flawed. They say careless things. They make mistakes. My job is simply to love. My family has taught me this, and I’m grateful.

“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13

I love.

What is your intention for today?

The Power of Intention

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When I meditate, my mind clears, and my pathway forward becomes clear.

A few days ago, I flew for the first time with my dog. I had learned what I needed to do, and there was no more knowledge on that topic to be acquired. But I was uneasy. My knees are not as strong as they used to be. Would I be able to manage a suitcase and a dog in a carrier? I was full of apprehension.

I stewed. I worried. Then I meditated. After my mind was very still, this intention came to me: “I am uplifted by kind people who want to help.” I wrote it on my calendar for the day of travel. When that morning arrived, I got out of the shuttle that had taken us to the airport and started pushing my suitcase toward the door, carrying the dog in carrier in my other hand. Almost immediately, a young man was in front of me. “May I help?” He took me to the counter and went for a wheelchair. The moment I finished checking in, the wheelchair was there. Long story short, when I needed something, it was immediately provided, including a flight attendant who was a dog-lover.

When I landed, the wheelchair for me was first in line.

Intention works.

Just for Today

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“Just for today I will live through this day only and not try to solve all my problems at once” (from an Al-Anon bookmark entitled Just for Today.)

Memories of the past and anticipations of the future are not current reality. As I write, I’m looking over a pond where a mama duck is being followed by her babies. Earlier, I spotted two mourning doves guarding their nest.

When my mind is clear, I am free to notice what’s in front of me. My intention for the day: I am free to flow with the day.

Energy

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Last week I read a book entitled Rending the Veil by Ward J. Bauman, which was about the Gospel of Philip, one of the Dead Sea scrolls. This book awakened me to the realization that God is energy. Immediately, I remembered the burning bush that appeared to Moses. Then I thought of the pilot light in my fireplace, always there, ready to burst into full flame when needed.

What is God to you?

JUST FOR TODAY

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For almost 26 years I have worked the Al-Anon program, a way to live that is simple, but not easy. Its goal is for members to live peaceful lives, so that we emit the energy of serenity that sustains our own tranquility, as well as harmonious relationships. This morning I awoke with these words on my mind, from our bookmark entitled “Just for Today”: “Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.” Along the way, I’ve also heard this slogan: “Be where your feet are.”

How are these words useful to you today?

Loving Ourselves

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Along the way, I have learned two important principles about love:

  1. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Cor. 13)

  2. Love God first, myself second, and everyone else after that.

Lately I’ve been noticing that I say things to myself that I would not say to any other human being. Critical words. Harsh. So today I’m setting two intentions:

  1. Speak kindly to myself.

  2. Forgive myself easily.

How about you?