Stepping Out
/For the last four years, since my husband’s death, my life has been on pause. I’ve been living, but in a gray way. Something has changed. I feel a shift. My path is becoming clearer. I wonder what will emerge?
For the last four years, since my husband’s death, my life has been on pause. I’ve been living, but in a gray way. Something has changed. I feel a shift. My path is becoming clearer. I wonder what will emerge?
In December I’ll participate in a Sedona authors book fair, so I attended an online class designed to help authors attract buyers. For several weeks thereafter, I dabbled and sorted through ideas that might work for me.
Then I went online to try out some display possibilities. I had bits of paper with scribbling all over my work area. I realized I needed help from someone with artistic and technical skill. A few minutes before she arrived, I sat down at my desk, recognizing that I needed to organize my ideas to make them understandable. On a sheet of paper, I wrote 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . ., and all my notations simplified into an understandable, step-by-step whole.
Isn’t that just how change works? First, possibilities shoot out in every direction and then settle into what looks like a mess until the new reality emerges. My challenge is to remain calm and peaceful when I’m in the mess. What is your challenge in change?
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Weeks ago, my 30-year-old microwave broke. The repairman can’t get parts needed to fix it because of its age. So I had to buy a new one that doesn’t quite fit the customized space and that the installers left a bit crooked. I can fill in the gap. No problem. But crooked? No.
I live in an imperfect world. As I go from day to day, it’s important for me to ask, from time to time, “Is this okay?” and take appropriate action when the answer is no—even when it’s more effort than I want to expend. What’s your experience in dealing with imperfection?
The path from doing to being
Is uphill, at first.
Then I come to the unsettling small stones beneath my feet.
I’m grateful for my hiking stick.
Next a somewhat smooth area,
Entrance to “the rapids”—jagged stones to navigate.
A step up, then a narrow path
To the plateau I came here for—
Smooth, sacred, encircled place.
A few days ago, I tangled with the laws of nature and lost. A young mourning dove hit my glass door and fell back onto the terrace—not the first time this has happened.
I know the routine: leave the bird alone. It might recover and fly away. Usually, it does.
But this time, I didn’t look. I assumed that what I heard was a golf ball and, without looking, I opened the sliding glass door. My dog Colt, following his instincts, ran to the bird and instantly had his teeth around the bird’s neck. Horrified, I wrested the bird free, picked up Colt, pulled the feathers from his mouth, and got him back into the house. Ever since, I’ve been grieving that bird, blaming myself for not looking before opening the door.
If someone else had done this, I would instantly have had compassion, but I struggled to forgive myself.
The next morning I went into my long meditation, which is two times around my rosary beads, breathing in “Thy will” and breathing out “be done.” When I was near the end of the beads, a great peace came over me. My ordeal is over.
Your turn: What’s your experience with self forgiveness?
Once or twice a week, I make a short hike to my favorite spot in Sedona—a plateau visually surrounded by some of the most well known formations: Cathedral Rock, Coxcomb, Thunder Mountain, Baby Bell, Gibralter, Courthouse, and Bell Rock. When I stand in that place, I am filled with a sense of safety, belonging, awe, and gratitude. Is there such a place for you?
A few days ago I was cooking and listening to Apple music through my Sonos speaker. Suddenly I was hearing children’s voices. When I looked at my phone to see what was playing, I saw the words, “1976. Brett and Anne Marie.” It was playing a recording I had made of my children in 1976! In that year, I had no Apple Music. No cell phone. No computer. How did this recording find its way to my Apple Music in 2026? Some things are beyond my understanding, so I decide to be content with wonder. What’s beyond your understanding?
I take many photos of the red rocks of Sedona. But yesterday was cool enough to sit on the terrace, and I looked up at a blue sky with gorgeous cumulus clouds. I lifted my camera upward.
I practice the Al-Anon program. It isn’t a course I’ll ever complete—like exercise, or healthy eating. One of the Al-Anon suggestions is to “do someone a good turn and not get found out.” It’s a simple way of saying what Matthew 6:4 urges: “Let your kindness be done quietly. . . .” So I’m sitting with the question of how I might accomplish this challenge—at least once a week. Any suggestions?
Someone recently asked me to guide her through the 12 steps, which I am very happy to do. Working the 12 steps is not a “one and done” exercise, and it benefits me, as well as the person who asked.
The first step is, “We admitted we were powerless over (fill in the blank), and our lives had become unmanageable.”
My assignment for us is to make a list of what we’re powerless over. Not a “one and done” list, but one we keep adding to, over a few days. Trying to exercise power over what we’re powerless over is a recipe for exhaustion and despair.
What are you powerless over? When will you be ready to let it go?
One of my favorite sayings is, “What I focus on, gets stronger.”
For awhile I’ve been fuming over the disappointing performance of my yard service. So I fired them and then had no one to do the work. Yesterday, all by myself , I did the two tasks that most irritated me. Then, because I was in my yard, not looking from a window, I was able to see a solution to two more issues.
So I moved out of resentment into gratitude that I am still physically able to do a bit of yard work myself and imagine improvements.
Is my experience familiar to you?
Someone recently asked me how I stay so calm. My answer was, “I breathe.” I start most days with meditation, using a rosary that I watched being made by a Cajun woman in Louisiana. It’s made of hard, round seeds instead of beads. As my fingers move from seed to seed, I breathe in, “Yah.” I breathe out, “Weh.” Yahweh. The ancient name for God.
I go around twice. Then I’m fit to enjoy my day. How do you start your day?
Last month’s travel was challenging for my body. But after several days’ rest, I felt strong. So I bought new hiking shoes and yesterday hiked a portion of my favorite Sedona Trail. It was the right level of challenge. Now I’ll slowly increase the distance as the fear dissipates. It was about this time two years ago that I broke my hip and began the long journey of recovery. It’s been slower than I wanted, but it’s been steady. I think it’s important, in recovery, to go at my own pace while pushing a bit to do what I truly want. What do you think?
This morning in the Village of Oak Creek a blue, smoky haze prevails. Low clouds obscure the sun’s rays. A muted morning.
How is your morning?
In my month-long trip to Cannon Beach, I put myself and my family first. I was untethered—not tied to anything except my commitment to relax and enjoy being with my family. The experience was liberating. I was totally available. All relationships were deepened and refreshed.
I’m spending June at Cannon Beach, Oregon, with my family, having a precious experience. As you know, I write an intention almost every day. Here’s what I wrote this morning: “I love.”
Notice there is no object for my love.
People are flawed. They say careless things. They make mistakes. My job is simply to love. My family has taught me this, and I’m grateful.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13
I love.
What is your intention for today?
When I meditate, my mind clears, and my pathway forward becomes clear.
A few days ago, I flew for the first time with my dog. I had learned what I needed to do, and there was no more knowledge on that topic to be acquired. But I was uneasy. My knees are not as strong as they used to be. Would I be able to manage a suitcase and a dog in a carrier? I was full of apprehension.
I stewed. I worried. Then I meditated. After my mind was very still, this intention came to me: “I am uplifted by kind people who want to help.” I wrote it on my calendar for the day of travel. When that morning arrived, I got out of the shuttle that had taken us to the airport and started pushing my suitcase toward the door, carrying the dog in carrier in my other hand. Almost immediately, a young man was in front of me. “May I help?” He took me to the counter and went for a wheelchair. The moment I finished checking in, the wheelchair was there. Long story short, when I needed something, it was immediately provided, including a flight attendant who was a dog-lover.
When I landed, the wheelchair for me was first in line.
Intention works.
May you have peace.
May you find joy.
May you be at ease.
“Just for today I will live through this day only and not try to solve all my problems at once” (from an Al-Anon bookmark entitled Just for Today.)
Memories of the past and anticipations of the future are not current reality. As I write, I’m looking over a pond where a mama duck is being followed by her babies. Earlier, I spotted two mourning doves guarding their nest.
When my mind is clear, I am free to notice what’s in front of me. My intention for the day: I am free to flow with the day.
To plug my latest book, Live the Life You Truly Want, I did the following podcast. Live the Life contains starters for meaningful conversations, and I hope small groups will pop up for that purpose. OR I can do Zoom, if you want me in on the conversation.
https://www.youtube.com/live/4xp0nBpAcrA?si=PwLJ4bPtlIXWL4Sm