Gifts

Will it get here in time? Will it fit? Will it be nice enough? Will it be the right color? Will s/he like it? 2025 is the year my family acknowledged that none of us needs anything. We agreed to take the stress of gift-giving out of the season and simply give what we would spend on a gift to the recipient’s charity of choice.

MY greatest gift is that each of my children could say, without hesitation, what their favorite charity is. They know how to give.

You write it: What is a great Christmas gift you have received?

An Old Love

I’ve been revisiting an old love—the life and work of Emily Dickinson. The purity of her poetry and her secluded life fascinate me. “Much madness is divinest sense in the discerner’s eyes.”

Re-reading what I’ve loved for so long revitalizes me. Do you have an old love that you need to revisit?

Thanksgiving

“I live gratefully, allowing the energies of life and love to flow through me for the benefit of the whole.” Richard Rohr

Rain

Sky came to earth today,

Iconic Sedona rocks, a dim outline

Against a gray sky.

All nature settles into quiet.

My soul stands still.

You write it: Soft rain calms my soul. What does it do for you?

State of Mind

As I was leaving after visiting my mother, every time she would cry—and I would feel bad. I made myself a promise that I would not do that to my children.

This morning my brother left after a short visit. For a moment I felt sad, but I remembered my promise and made a decision to stay in gratitude that he came, that my home provided rest and relaxation, that I was able to do for him simple things that said, “I love you.”

It’s good to remember that we have control over our own state of mind. We can choose gratitude over grief.

You write it: What do you do when you are sad?

Becoming

Renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman, crippled by polio, made his laborious way across the stage and took his seat to begin the concert. As he drew the bow, one of the strings loudly popped, broken and unplayable. He redrew the bow and simply played a brilliant concert.

Asked later why he did not replace the violin, he answered, “Sometimes it is the job of the artist to play with whatever he has left.”

Spiritual coach and author Sarah Naylor has just released her new book, You’re Not Done Becoming.” I recommend it. https://amazon.com/dp/B0FRYCN4VQ

My Vision

My vision for Live the Life You Truly Want is that people will form small groups of 2-5 people (can be husband and wife) to follow this simple process to make conversation more meaningful:

1. Together, do the heart meditation (5 minutes). http://nancyoelklaus.com/audio-tools

2. Open Live the Life You Truly Want to any page and read.

3. Share, one at a time, uninterrupted, “What’s going on with me today?”

4. Write one intention that lifts each person into a peaceful way of being. Example: “We enjoy the freedom and peace of letting go.”

5. Ask, “Are we complete?” Go in peace.

Depending on the size of the group, this whole process takes 30-60 minutes.

I will be doing some Zoom calls in which I facilitate groups. If you’re interested, email me at NancyOelklaus@gmail.com. Go in peace.

Peace

I had some wonderful visitors yesterday—cousins from a previous life. Actually, they are my former husband’s cousins who were always my favorites because they led interesting lives and seemed so very happy. Being in their presence yesterday took me back to that previous life and reminded me that I am at peace with all of it. https://tinyurl.com/4npf8p7t

You write it: Are you at peace with your past? If not, what might bring peace?

Grace

With grace on my mind, this morning I asked my AI app to define it. Among the offerings was this one: When you are in grace, “You offer patience and compassion to others—and to yourself—recognizing that everyone is learning, including you.” Grace doesn’t mean you don’t set boundaries; it means you do it with compassion to the other and to yourself. In what way(s) might more grace give you the Life You Truly Want to Live? https://tinyurl.com/yc2hykfe

ACCEPTANCE

“Accept the things I cannot change” is the heart of the Serenity Prayer. These words are guiding my life these days. I watch very little TV and never news shows. Every morning I skim the headlines on my phone. That’s it.

My new book is out. With its release, I’m turning my full attention to helping people Live the Life You Truly Want.  https://tinyurl.com/46rpm4a7

You write it: What is capturing your attention these days?

Live the Life You Truly Want

My just-released, latest book, Live the Life You Truly Want, is about being aware of our inner thoughts and how they affect us and others. It encourages meaningful conversation in small, trusted groups. You may order it from Amazon by clicking on this link:

https://www.amazon.com/Live-Life-You-Truly-Want/dp/B0FQCJ15JZ/ref=sr_1_1

In the meantime, be aware of your inner thoughts and how they are affecting you. Be the change you want to see.

The Second Coming

After two days of malaise, I realized I was grieving the loss of my country as I have known it. It happened gradually, as events unfolded and next generations arose, until their collective impact forced me to acknowledge that the U.S. I have loved no longer exists.

What will rise in its place has not yet been revealed. So, as I wait, I remember William Butler Yeats’ poem The Second Coming. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43290/the-second-coming

You write it: What are your thoughts?

Take the Trip You Truly Want

I met someone recently who had just returned from a trip to Africa. Here is what I remember from her description of the trip: (1) Her husband lost his credit cards. (2) She accidentally overtipped one of their guides. (3)The bush plane was very uncomfortable. (4) They saw many migrating animals dying in the water. (5)A fellow traveler had no small denominations for tips, so my new acquaintance had to bail her out.

I don’t remember any description of beauty or fun or enjoyment.

I live in Sedona, AZ, where people have the lifestyle they truly want. But are they living the lives they truly want? How much true enjoyment are they getting? What draws their focus?

This experience illustrates why I wrote my newest book, Live the Life You Truly Want. It will be out soon, available on Amazon. Stay tuned.

You write it: Think about a recent trip. Did you experience the trip you really wanted?

Perfect As Is

A few years ago, I co-authored a book entitled Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts. My role was to write true stories from family members to illustrate that addiction is truly a family disease, and anyone in the family who makes a change can lead the way to recovery for others. I know it’s true because it’s the story of my life.

I re-read the book a few days ago, thinking it needs revision. It doesn’t. It’s perfect as it is, still relevant.

You write it: What do you do with something in your life that’s been around awhile but still has meaning and potential?

Ravens

On Chat GPT this morning, I asked for the symbolism of ravens. Here’s what came up: Ravens appear when something in your life is shifting. . . . Spiritually, they

remind you not to fear endings, because every ending opens space for renewal.”

This morning, on the day I’ll finish my latest book, my yard is filled with ravens. I wonder what the new beginning will be?

You write it: Are any new beginnings on your horizon?

O Is for Open

Since a new school year is beginning, here is an excerpt from my book Alphabet Meditations for Teachers, available on Amazon:

Open doors are more inviting than closed ones.

I remember a magical night at the home of my friend.

As I entered the curved drive, lights were ablaze in the house.

The door was wide open; my loving host was waiting.

Open my eyes to the doors I have shut.

Ask for me open questions.

Is my face that of a loving host?

In my room, are lights ablaze?

When I speak, do I open by

Inviting their ideas, or do I close by stating mine?

Stop me from being The Great Pontificator,

With all the answers to unasked questions.

Teach me how to open their minds

By opening my own. Help me not fear not knowing.

I know my role is Great Questioner,

Not Great Answerer, and Partner in Discovery.

When I’m open, I find wonder,

Excitement, peace. So will they.

Hold my hand. Whisper softly to me,

“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

Intention #1

Every day—sometimes more than once a day—I write an intention because it focuses me and opens me to greater possibility. Here’s what I wrote yesterday:

I open space to continuously learn and grow.

Try it and, at the end of the day, make a note of what happened.

Stopping an Energy Drain

For the second time this month, I discovered a leak in my drip irrigation. Immediately, I emailed my lawn service to repair it—because water is expensive, and I really despise waste. This makes a good analogy for my topic today—stopping an energy drain. Except the kind of drain I have in mind is the one we allow people to do.

One of my favorite questions for clents is, “What gives you energy?” . . . “What takes energy away?” As they list energizers and energy depleters, they quantify each one and then make decisions about what to let go of or lessen and what to strengthen.

Recently I decided to let go of a major depleter—a person who drains my energy—and already my life has changed. The energy I was using to manage my response to her behavior is now free for my creativity and initiative, which are growing through insight and ability to take action.

You write it: Is anything or anybody depleting your energy? What do you need to do?

Intention: I enjoy the freedom and peace of letting go.

Cycle

I discovered recently a deeply held belief I wasn’t aware I had—that, if I learned enough, practiced enough, tried hard enough, I could be healed from wounds within that cause me pain. Truthfully, I have done a lot of forgiving of myself and others, but a dear friend helped me realize that, in fact, we are constantly on this path towards healing, and we will never finish until our last breath. But that’s not reason to be discouraged because each memory of experience is less painful than the last one, and we just keep telling the truth and taking responsibility for our own thoughts and actions in whatever way works for us. Forgiving is not a one-and-done; it’s a diminishing cycle.

You write it: What’s your experience in forgiving yourself and others?

Reflection

With unbelieving, unaccepting eyes, I watch the news about Texas Hill Country flooding. My heart hurts for so many young lives cut short, so many families forever changed. In spring, bluebonnets will bloom again, but for now, there’s only grief without words.