Reflection

Last Thursday a neighbor and dear friend died. I knew his death was coming and hoped it wouldn’t. In my heart I was holding both hope for his survival and wish for his release from what he called “the mess” he was in.

I’m tired.

It took me years to learn to allow myself to grieve. As a young woman, when a grandfather died, I picked up a broom and swept the long driveway. I would do anything to avoid feeling.

Finally I found a guide who taught me to accept and express my feelings. It was a long process.

Last week my friend died. My world changed. I’m swimming in the difference.