Forgiving Myself

A few days ago, I tangled with the laws of nature and lost. A young mourning dove hit my glass door and fell back onto the terrace—not the first time this has happened.

I know the routine: leave the bird alone. It might recover and fly away. Usually, it does.

But this time, I didn’t look. I assumed that what I heard was a golf ball and, without looking, I opened the sliding glass door. My dog Colt, following his instincts, ran to the bird and instantly had his teeth around the bird’s neck. Horrified, I wrested the bird free, picked up Colt, pulled the feathers from his mouth, and got him back into the house. Ever since, I’ve been grieving that bird, blaming myself for not looking before opening the door.

If someone else had done this, I would instantly have had compassion, but I struggled to forgive myself.

The next morning I went into my long meditation, which is two times around my rosary beads, breathing in “Thy will” and breathing out “be done.” When I was near the end of the beads, a great peace came over me. My ordeal is over.

Your turn: What’s your experience with self forgiveness?