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Viktor Frankl, noted psychiatrist and survivor of a Nazi prison camp, wrote this: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

For me, the Al-Anon program has been a powerful teacher of this truth. The Twelve Steps, slogans, and success stories over the last 22 years have enabled me to live a life of serenity today.

Often, women ask me to be their “sponsor”; that is, teach them what I’ve learned so that they, too, may find serenity. Some of them do the hard work and reap the reward of a happy life. Others simply don’t make the effort. They want life to be what they want it to be, and they want it to be easy.

You write or draw it: What efforts have you made to live the life you truly want?

Breaking an Addiction

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Sometimes described as “sort of like chess,” Othello is a game of strategy that I have been playing compulsively—then obsessively—then addictively—on my phone. In any lull, I reached for my phone and got in a quick game. I rationalized that I wasn’t hurting anyone, so it was okay.

Then one afternoon, evening, and into the night, piercing pain in my hand from repetitive motion let me know who I was hurting. Me. Some CBD cream finally eased the pain.

Othello is in my past. Now that I’m free to live more fully in the moment, if I need a diversion, I read a book or work a wooden puzzle or weed the flower garden or play fetch with Colt. The possibilities are endless, and all is well.

You write or draw it: Do you have any addictive habits? Tell the story.

Kindness Beyond Generosity

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A neighbor brought Harlan and me a homemade quiche. We were near the end of our bouts with Covid and at the beginning of aftermath isolation.

We love quiche, and I hardly ever make it because it requires so much effort, so when our neighbor called to say she had quiche for us, I could hardly believe it.

Even the crust was homemade.

We savored every bite.

Our hearts lifted and floated in gratitude for this amazing act of kindness.

You write or draw it: When have you experienced kindness that goes beyond generosity? What effect did it have on you?

Precious Moments

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I just returned from three days of precious moments with family, gathered for my sister’s memorial service. As she was dying, my sister planned every detail of the service and reception, so in my mind and heart it was clean and pure. Through her pain, she left us with the experience of peace and everlasting love.

My children are happy, healthy, successful, and fun to be with. What more could a mother want?

Now, from the family I was born into, there’s only my brother and me. We love and want the best for each other.

Precious simple serenity with family. I know not everyone has it, and I’m grateful.

You write or draw it: What is your experience with your closest family? What do you want it to be?

Allow Grace

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A friend secured for me a time on the agenda of a well respected organization to say a few words about my new book, Simple Serenity. I was honored by the invitation, looking forward to it.

The day came, and I arrived at the meeting place to an empty room. Quickly, I double-checked my email invitation. The meeting had been at 10:00 that morning. It was now 1:00 in the afternoon.

Hurriedly, I emailed my friend and also my host to apologize. Then I just felt bad, and this feeling persisted.

Later in the day, during contemplative prayer, these words came to me: “Allow them to give you grace.”

Peace came over me.

You write or draw it: What do you do when you make a mistake that lets others down?

Love in Different Places

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I just returned from a few days in Texas, where I got to hug my granddaughter on her birthday, as well as hug and be with so many precious Austin friends.

Now I’m back home in Sedona, and I’m still experiencing love in my quiet, beautiful surroundings.

I’ve realized that love begins within me, and I give thanks that—today—I know that.

You write or draw it: Where do you find love?

A Reader Writes

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In last week’s blog, I wrote about having my energy depleted from travel and bad news. I asked what you do when you feel your energy start to wane. One of my favorite readers and dear friend, Lindy Segall, offered this advice, which I am passing on. Today, have an energetic day!

Lindy recalls from his Boy Scout days, “We learned to hydrate well the night before a hard, hot hike. If not, by the time thirst hit the next day...it was too late. Already DEhydrated. The message? Self care can be a daily ritual, gives us that ‘extra reserve’ we sometimes need when the rough days hit as yours did.

“The other from flying experience. When traveling cross country, smart pilots never ‘leave gas on the ground.’ They always top off the fuel tanks at every stop. The possibility of unexpected ‘rough weather’ popping up enroute to the next destination is always present. Again, the idea of proactive self care makes good sense!”

You write or draw it: What daily ritual do you follow to keep your energy reserve high?

Austin Launch of Simple Serenity

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Austin Friends: Nancy Oelklaus invites you to help launch her newest book, Simple Serenity, 

with cover artist Ash Almonte

2:00 p.m. Friday, April 29, 2022
Renaissance Austin Hotel
Guadalupe Room
9721 Arboretum Blvd.
Austin, TX

Harlan and I hope you’ll be there to help us celebrate!!

What people say about this book:

"With poetry, stories from real life, and questions, this book offers a chance for a new view of life. Highly recommend." Carolyn Wilhelm, Midwest Book Review 

“Everything within [Simple Serenity] is the wisdom of the ages, and everything within it has been demonstrated as effective through research on positive psychology. I don’t know if a stronger endorsement is possible.” Bob Rich, Ph. D. Psychologist, Australia

Simple Gratitude

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I’ve had a few rough days: hearing unwelcome news of a loved one’s illness, being witness to unkind words, and Harlan’s debilitating back pain. Also, I’m physically tired from traveling.

This morning I made a decision to simply practice the basics of gratitude. I’m grateful for breathing—for a night’s rest—for coffee, for my health, for the love of family and friends—for a big, happy smile on the face of my friend.

Simple gratitude. Always the place of beginning.

What we focus on, gets stronger.

You write or draw it: What do you do when you feel your energy going low?

Life Is Good

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While Harlan and I were away last week, the iris started blooming, the bush I don’t know the name of burst into tiny purple flowers, and another peony popped out of the ground, making a total of seven.

As I sit here this morning in my warm bed, the sun diffuses light over the hills and through the trees. A gambel quail sits on the fence. Our precious white puppy is asleep on my lap.

Life is good, and all is well.

You write or draw it: What makes life good for you?

A Weathered Little Stone

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At a friend’s suggestion, I’m reading The Book of Forgiving by Desmond and Mpho Tutu. I’m also doing the work the authors recommend. One of those recommendations is to get a stone—one that “appeals to you on some level.”

Well, the stone I chose was rounded in an odd way, battered, pock marked, and chiseled. That’s how many times I’ve tried to pick at and fix the old wrong it represents. The designs created by all that effort are misshapen and ugly. When I realized the symbolism of the stone, I laughed out loud.

Just for today, I’ve decided to give that old stone a rest.

You write or draw it: Are you carrying an old stone like mine? What will you do with it?