Everyone Wins

Early one morning I listened to a voice mail message from a state officer of an organization I belong to. In the message, she invited herself to our next local meeting and offered to do a presentation that I had already spent several hours preparing and have ready.

My ego exploded. "Who does she think she is? This is intrusion. If I need her help, I'll ask for it!"

Before returning the call, I vowed not to obsess over the matter, but to go to one of my support group meetings, eat breakfast, and meditate. 

When I was sure I could speak from my heart and be respectful both to myself and to the other person, I returned the call. I simply explained my effort to prepare and stated I would like to do the program, which I had tailored to our local needs. Through the conversation, we determined that she and her colleague would attend the meeting and be available to augment my remarks and answer questions.

The next day she called back to cancel the visit. In the meantime, her friend had discovered she had to work, and the caller said she was leaving on a trip the day after the meeting and really needed the time to prepare. Via email, she sent me information I didn't have and will add to the presentation. Simple solution. 

When I speak from my heart and say what's true for me, everyone wins.

You write it:  When have you experienced a potentially resentment-producing situation that turned out well?

Home Is a Feeling

Soon our children and their spouses will come for a visit. I no longer live in the house or even the state where my children grew up. The same is true for my husband and his son.

My intention is that the peace and contentment in our home will come into their hearts and consciousness as they realize this is a special place where they are always welcome and safe.

You write it:  What is home to you?

Unfolding

Maybe it's the time of year--a time when I see graduation postings on Facebook in abundance--postings of beautiful young women I remember as toddlers or adolescents. Seeing them in cap and gown seems a sharp change--a clear break from what used to be into what is yet to be. 

It's startling only because I missed the gradual, gentle unfolding of one phase of these lives into the next. 

You write it: What is unfolding for you?

Energy

Following my husband's medical urgency and subsequent surgery, after the terror had subsided, I felt exhausted and empty. I had neglected doing what feeds my soul.

Lunch with a friend started reviving me, and I became freshly aware of the power of the energy i allow to come and go into my being.

This morning I awoke disgruntled after a restless night. Unwilling to start my day with that energy, I made a list of friends and the strength I see in each of them. Until I can find my own footing again, I will float on the goodness of others.

You write it: What do you do to shift your energy?

Feeling the Feelings

For a long time in my life, I shut down my emotions. Of course, I suffered the consequences, most notably migraine headaches. Someone who was helping me recover my whole self asked me, in response to a statement I had made, "How do you feel about this?" I answered her. She said, "You just told me what you think. I asked how you feel." I couldn't answer her question because I couldn't access my emotions.

Once when a family member died, I grabbed a broom and swept the driveway--to avoid feeling anything. This was a favorite strategy--stay busy; don't feel.

Last week, anticipating my husband's triple bypass surgery, I was scared. I cried. Several times. As they pushed him into surgery, I broke down. Ever since, I'm very tired from the range of emotions coursing through me--gratitude for the skill of his medical team and for the progress he is making, anger and sadness that we have to go through this, appreciation for the friends who have come to our aid, apprehension about what our lives will be like going forward--and rejoicing that I am able to feel my feelings.

Wise people have taught me that feelings pass. I don't have to act on them. But for my own health, I do need to feel them. 

You write it:  What do you do with your feelings?

Earth Day

I put my glasses down

And my phone,

Realizing there is no good news.

Then my eyes turn to the

Window, opening a view of

Grasses, water, trees, and sky.

That's where the good news is.

You write it:  What effect does nature have on you? How much access to nature do you have?

Breathe in Love

The last few days I've had a choice between being stressed or being at ease. I admit I have rocked a bit between the two. 

This morning I spent 45 minutes in meditation, breathing in love and breathing out everything else. It helped. I am at peace.

You write it:  What do you do when you have a choice between stress and ease?

From Splintered to Whole

A young friend recently described her life. Two toddlers, one of whom is potty training. A thriving career. A marriage. Leadership in a nonprofit that she's devoted to. Her home on the market with a move imminent. She finds herself crying with a feeling of being out of control.

As I listened to her story, the image that came to me was "splintered." In each of these roles, only a piece of her is showing up--the piece with the expertise to handle that thing. She seemed to be losing her sense of wholeness, even though she was so grateful for all the goodness in her life. So after the whole story was out, I asked, "Would you like to write an intention?"

Here's what we wrote: In the midst of seeming chaos, I breathe and realize I am alive. I am whole. I am present. 

You write it: Do you ever feel splintered? What do you do?

Wardrobe and Life

Some years ago I worked with a style consultant to help me weed, manage, and replenish my wardrobe so that it supported the life I truly wanted to live. After our work together, I felt that my wardrobe was the bare essentials I needed to live in Austin, TX.

Then I moved to Sedona, AZ, and my lifestyle changed. I wasn't sure what I would need in this new life, so I left those Austin clothes in my closet for a year or so. Then I started weeding. I kept weeding. I weeded some more, without much replenishing.

Yesterday I decided to put away my winter clothes. A task that used to take a couple of hours in Austin was accomplished in about 5 minutes, as I moved things from one rack to another. Once again, I see the truth of what that consultant taught me--that my wardrobe is a reflection of my life. Today I am so grateful for the simplicity and peace all around me, reflected by my wardrobe.

A few days ago I made a clothing purchase--3 items. This morning I took 4 items to Goodwill. That's how simplicity works.

You write it:  What does your wardrobe say about your life? Is that what you want?

The Gift of Generosity

In 12-step recovery we learn that an expectation is a premeditated resentment, so we strive to have no expectations. If we do something generous for someone, and they do not say, "Thank you," we don't take offense because that would be a resentment.

Resentments are toxic, and they hurt only the one who holds them.

So--just for today--do someone a good turn and don't get found out.

The gift of generosity is for the giver, whether any other person appreciates it or not.

When have you been generous? When was someone generous to you? How did you express appreciation? (It's never too late to say, "Thank you.")

Living Differently

Recently I hosted a brunch for 20 people in my home. As I eased into the preparation, I kept feeling that something was missing.

Finally I realized that what was missing was anxiety, as I focused on the intention of putting people at ease.

How I'm living differently these days is (1) regular meditation that clears my mind and puts me at ease (2) setting an intention for everything that is before me.

You write it:  How are you living differently these days?

Stay Unlocked

For the first time in my life, I have bedroom windows with eastern views, so I watch the sun rise every morning. Earth's rotation assures that it never rises in exactly the same place, and I have to close different blinds throughout the year to accommodate the rotation of the rising sun's rays.

There's a saying that we "never step in the same river twice, for the water is constantly flowing."

Motion--change--is the natural order. 

You write it:  What's moving in your life?

Realize Life While You Live It

In the recent movie "Wonder" is a segment from Thornton Wilder's play, Our Town. The character Emily, from her afterlife, says, "Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. . . . Does anyone ever realize life while they live it?"

This morning as I journal, a gentle snow is falling. Looking out at the white beauty, my whole body fills with amazed gratitude. I am realizing life while I live it.

You write it:  How about you?

All Is One

A woman dies before her time.

A couple begins the adventure of marriage.

A man celebrates 38 years of sobriety.

A brother marks another birthday.

A teenager plans college visits.

A beautiful snow melts.

A friend arrives for a visit.

All is one.

You write it: All of these things in my life truly happened on the same day. When have you realized that all is part of a complete whole?

Wait and See

I stopped feeding the birds because of the hawks who swooped into their midst and inevitably caught one to devour. Today the birds in our yard find their own food--and there's plenty. I simply sit at the window watching, at close range, the bluebirds and purple finches feast on the tree's berries.

A friend called last week, concerned over someone's actions and harsh words. After talking it through, she decided to do nothing--to wait and see what happened. What happened was reconciliation, through no effort at all from my friend.

When we accept what is--stand back--do nothing, we leave space for God to work. Actually, we aren't doing nothing. We're living in faith.

You write it:  What situation in your life is calling you to stand back and do nothing?

Valentine's Week

In a couple of days we'll honor love. It took me many, many years to learn how to love. I still do it imperfectly. Here is my experience of love as I understand it today.

Love

• Accepts what is.
• Shares the last bite.
• Acknowledges presence.
• Gives grace.
• Says, "I'll do that for you."
• Is quiet.

You write it:  What is your understanding of love?

Revealing Negative Thinking

In the first class with Lynne McTaggert on The Power of Intention, her assignment was to keep a journal of my negative thinking. I consider myself a positive person, so I thought, "There won't be much in my journal." 

Was I ever wrong! I was surprised at the number of times during the day I'm thinking of someone in a critical way--or I focus on something I don't like--or I condemn myself! 

This assignment has had value for me in two ways. First, I am becoming more aware that I lose energy when I'm negative. Secondly, the exercise is working much like a fourth step in revealing my character flaws. Once they are exposed, then I know what to do. But as long as they remain hidden, I'm weakened.

You try it:  Keep a journal of your negative thinking for a few days. What did you learn about yourself?

Staying in Love: Letting Go

My friend Linda Storms responded to last week's blog with these profound words:

Staying in love 

When I find myself doing or thinking unkind, impatient,

and judgmental actions or thoughts, it’s when I’m resisting what is.

Then I remind myself, "Not my will,"

I learn to trust what I can’t see.  For me it represents surrender and coming to the realization that no matter how it looks, I don’t see a big picture. But ALL THAT IS does🙏🏻.

You write it: What is your experience with the power of surrender to strengthen love?

Staying in Love

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs. This is the checklist I use when I feel ill at ease and know I need to examine my own reactions to people and events. I know I'm happiest and strongest when I'm acting from love. So when I'm feeling impatient, unkind, and resentful, I know I'm not in love.

That's when I stop, pivot by remembering what I'm grateful for, and then recite to myself, "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs." 

You write it:  What do you do to stay in love?

The Power of Respectful Listening

It was a simple invitation to dessert in the evening in my friend's home. I prepared for light, trivial conversation. But one of the guests was interested in the work I had done in my career. I tried to answer casually, as one does in social settings, but he probed, maintained eye contact, and listened carefully as I told the fuller story.

I left my friend's home that evening bathed in grace and blessed by someone who truly listened and respected what I had to say.

You write it: When have you been listened to with respect? When have you been a respectful listener?