Possibility

“What do you do when you don’t have anything to do?” is a question I recently asked a friend. What is your answer to that question?

Reflection

Last Thursday a neighbor and dear friend died. I knew his death was coming and hoped it wouldn’t. In my heart I was holding both hope for his survival and wish for his release from what he called “the mess” he was in.

I’m tired.

It took me years to learn to allow myself to grieve. As a young woman, when a grandfather died, I picked up a broom and swept the long driveway. I would do anything to avoid feeling.

Finally I found a guide who taught me to accept and express my feelings. It was a long process.

Last week my friend died. My world changed. I’m swimming in the difference.

A Day

A hurricane blows towards the Gulf.

Hot wind blows through the desert.

The white dog eats his owner’s lunch, lettuce and all.

A neighbor finds and returns a cell phone and a lost dog—in the same week.

This morning’s sunrise is especially red.

Heart Light

On UTUBE I’ve been watching people tell their stories of near-death experience. What these stories have in common is the dying person’s sense of all-encompassing love—around, through, and within them. Many say that, because of this love, they didn’t want to come back into life.

I wonder if it’s possible to increase love while we’re still here. Or, in the words of the song from the movie ET, “Turn on your heart light.”

That’s my goal for today.

An Intention

My daughter, Anne Marie McClaran, composed this intention: “We ride the bumps and enjoy the view.”

Books, Audios, and Retreats: Become the Change

THREE BOOKS

Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically is the story, complete with tools and processes, of how I made the change I wanted to experience. Several years after, I wrote Simple Serenity, short reflections about the result of these changes. Recently, I wrote A Love Story: The Transformative Power of the Twelve Steps, which is a story of how my personal work sustained a happy marriage. All are available from Amazon. Just search for Nancy Oelklaus.

AUDIOS AND RETREATS

A friend recently confided, “I’m feeling a lot of fear.” I was little help because I rarely experience fear. She went to my website, www.NancyOelklaus.com and found, in audio tools, the heart meditation. This simple, 5-minute meditation helped to allay her fears. All the audio tools are free.

One of the things I do with clients and close friends is retreats in Sedona, where I live. The last person who had this experience wrote this after she returned home: “I had three days with Nancy, and still have the peace and serenity I found in Sedona.” (Artist Ash Almonte)

YOU WRITE IT:

What changes would you like to see in your life?

Purity of Intent

“Purity of Intent.” One of my teachers, Liliane Desjardins, introduced me to this phrase many years ago. I use it every day.

Before I speak or act, I ask, “What is my intent?” If it’s to change someone’s behavior, then I refrain from taking action. If it is to control an outcome, I do not speak. But if it is to express my soul’s truest desire or purest truth, then I move ahead.

Think about it: How do you engage with this topic?

Options

We enjoy a life of meaning.

We derive meaning in different ways.

We celebrate the differences.

The Freedom of Forgiveness

I recently watched a family with grudges make themselves miserable at a joyous event simply because they were in the presence of their target. If there’s someone you need to forgive, do it now. Set yourself free.

Pieces

As a family wedding approaches, I am aware that some people are angry about the past and aloof from those they associate with it. I have decided that their feelings have no power over me. This morning my daughter and I wrote this intention: “We stay in the present and simply enjoy the wedding experience.” That’s it.

Nancy’s book Simple Serenity contains parables and exercises to guide the reader to experience the spiritual gifts of patience, kindness, and forgiveness that love requires. Buy it on Amazon by searching for Nancy Oelklaus.

Grace

I was present when a dying friend gave $40,000 to a Navajo widow to repair and expand her house on the reservation. Tears flowed from each as grace gave the gift, and grace received it. When have you experienced pure grace?

Perspective

“Thank you for safety and service” was my prayer on the day after I had a flat tire.

The flat happened AT THE END OF a day of sightseeing with my friend Ash. It went flat while the car was parked in my garage.

When I discovered the flat tire, I called AAA and waited a couple of hours before someone came to remove the flat and put on the spare. I waited with my friend, on my terrace with its amazing view. Ash and I ate supper together.

The next morning I drove to the place where I bought the tire. While I had a “dirty chai” at a new coffee shop I’ve been wanting to try, the workers repaired my tire. An hour later, they put my refreshed tire back on the car, and I drove away.

Now I can tell this story two ways. Do you see? Either way, vibrations go out, and we tend to attract to us what we send out. That’s good to remember.

Rigor

This Japanese maple was dying, one branch at a time. Finally I found someone who knew what to do to save it. He dug up its roots, which were intertwined, choking each other. He cut out a big root that was the worst culprit. He programmed irrigation to give it the right amount of water. This morning, when I walked out the door, this is what I saw. The tree actually has blooms among the new leaves! Sometimes, to save a tree—or a person—radical treatment is needed. Unless we get to the root of the problem, we experience the same hurt again—and again—and again. My specialty is getting to the root of the problem. One client said that I help people “optimize their lives.”

Gambel Quail

After I finished my coaching call, I walked into the family room and looked out the glass wall to the terrace. For the first time—ever—I saw a male Gambel quail on top of the wall that encloses the terrace. Because it was unusual to see quail so close to the house, I looked up what quail symbolizes: I am protected and safe. Photo by Zach Pallister

You write or draw it: Have you had any unusual experiences with nature lately?

Pot of Coffee

After years of making coffee one cup at a time, today, inspired by my neighbor, I brewed a whole pot—just for me. Unexpectedly, memories flooded over me—memories of my mom and my aunts brewing a pot of coffee after lunch and sitting around my grandmother’s round oak table to savor the cup and conversation. What flooded over me was the gratitude I had for these people who encouraged me, praised me, and let me know in myriad ways that I was loved.

All of that in a pot of coffee.

You write it: What is a pot of coffee to you?

Change

Every day, rugs need straightening; leaves fall and want brooms—or rakes. A flower blooms—or wilts. Words flow—never the same way twice—and people change.

So I say, “I hope I’m different the next time you see me.”

Heart Meditation

Here’s how I begin every meditation class at Village Yoga in Sedona: https://www.villageyogasedona.com/online-yoga-classes

Take three long, deep breaths. Inhale all the way to your navel and whoosh the breath out. Now place your hand over your heart. Realize that this heart started beating somewhere around the third week after your conception. You were a tiny mass of cells. A moment came when some of those cells started pulsating. Ever since that moment, your heart has been faithfully pumping blood and oxygen throughout your system, sustaining your life. So through your hand, to your heart, say “Thank you. Thank you for so faithfully sustaining my life.”

Because your heart has been with you since your very beginning, it knows everything. You have no secrets from your heart. It has a wisdom about you. So ask your heart now to guide you through this day.

Invisible Changes

My bedroom has windows facing east and north. To the east are ancient volcanic hills; to the north Sedona’s famous red rock formations. My sight line is northeast, across a pond and beyond to Lee Mountain.

This view is my daily reminder of constancy and change. The hills are constant. But the position of the sun moves as the seasons change. And what causes this movement?

The rotation of the earth. I can’t see or feel the rotation, but I know it’s happening because of the changes I see through my windows.

Often, change is invisible. But if you look carefully, you see its result.